RealLifeTransAdult Series

Lola Houston is a 65 year old transgender woman. She is polyamorous and queer, helping others discover themselves and live a true life.

R: Hi Lola. Tell us a bit about your current love life.

L: At present, my current love and sex life are excellent . I consider myself extremely fortunate in this respect, because for many trans women, the shift from a male orientation in their sex life to a female orientation is often extremely challenging. I have maintained a strong libido, and both of my partners are very responsive in that respect ( both of my current partners are cis-gendered women. I’m not honestly sure if that makes me a lesbian, or something else altogether. I’ve always considered myself bisexual and I certainly would categorize myself as queer). I’ve been a sex educator for a long time, consequently I have become very comfortable with toys and techniques that most people would find out of the ordinary.

R: What specific challenges is your business life facing at this moment. Have you faced particular challenges due to your gender, gender identity or sexual orientation?

L: I worked at a university prior to my transition, and left that institution before I made the full transition. I now work at home on my own as a sex and relationship coach. From a business perspective, I haven’t really faced any major challenges. The most current issues for me include the matter of consent — the #MeToo movement has had a deep impact recently as I had a partner who was raped. The other issue that is very recent is the entire SESTA/FOSTA bill which has cast a pall over many of my cohort. In general, my experience with problems around my gender has been very small. I’m frequently mis-gendered which is no real surprise. I live very openly and out, and welcome input and questions when their intentions are positive.

I think I knew something was different about me quite a long time ago, and it was only the discovery of my bisexuality that opened the door to what was really out there. That happened just about the time that Netscape was released, and the Internet was just becoming a reality. That was a very very big door.

R: If you could go back in time, What would you recommend to 16 year old you?

L: I would say don’t listen so closely to what other people tell you they want you to be. Instead, listen to your inner voice and follow that.

R: If I invented a time machine and you could travel anywhere in time, where would you go? And why?

L: That’s a tricky one. There’s no one place. I probably make a quick visit to about 65 million years ago not only to see the lifeforms, but to watch what happened. I’d also make a trip to seven or 8000 years ago and try to understand why there was a shift from what I think was a largely matriarchal orientation to what we have today.

R: Last question Lola. As a successful LBTQIA person, what is your advice for young people nowadays?

L: Become good listeners. Learn to be open to difference. The absence of that is one of the things that I feel is corrosive to our society. The other thing that I would listen to very closely is how you develop your moral sense — hold onto that, because it matters a lot.

Go learn more about the amazing job Lola is doing at http://www.liveatruelife.org/

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